It’s Not That I’m Careless With Love, I’m Just Scared

Thought Catalog

I have always avoided feelings and usually walk out before things get complicated. But with you, these feelings snuck up during the mornings we spent in bed. Our bodies entangled. My lungs were filled with you and for the first time, I was not suffocating.

My friends always tell me, “I wish I was as careless as you” or, “I wish I didn’t get attached like you.” They don’t understand that the hardest thing on this planet for me, is expressing what a person means to me. Which comes off as “careless” and “indifferent.” Every time I begin to feel you drifting away, I find myself praying to a god I do not know. Begging him (it?) to give me the ability to verbalize how you make my heart race when your fingertips graze my skin. How your smile makes it hard to breath. How waking up next to your…

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